things that are lame


It may happen to you at some point in your life that, while slightly intoxicated from an impulsive shot or two of Rumplemintz, you realize half-way through a recipe that you have run out of the necessary red food coloring for the 4th of July chocolatey snack you are attempting to prepare for a family BBQ.

A warning:

Don’t waste your time and risk your safety by driving out to the grocery store at 11:45pm to buy said food dye before the stores close.  When you get home and attempt to use it, you will learn the hard way that the water-based food coloring sold in most grocery stores destroys melted chocolate, so you won’t be able to finish your tasty snack anyway.  Stay home, enjoy another shot, and finish the recipe tomorrow.

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Explain to me this logic.

A utility is turned off due to lack of payment. Lack of payment occurred because tips have been slow and school gets in the way of work day availabilities.  Now, in order to turn the utility back on, you (utility company) want me to sit at home between 9am and 4pm to wait on a technician so he/she can turn on my utility.  Sitting home between 9am and 4pm means I am not working to make the money you need for me to pay you to turn the utility back on.  Further, if I do go to work to make the money you need for me to turn on my utility and I happen to miss the technician, you (utility company) will charge me a fee for missing my appointment due to my working to try and earn the money you need for me to pay you, thus increasing my need to work to pay you the now larger past due amount.

WTF?!