The following is an actual conversation I had with one of my students:

Student: I need to change the topic of my project.

Me: Why?

S: My niece is coming home from ICU and we need to get the house ready so I won’t have as much time as I thought to work on my project. It’s the first time she’s been home since she was born in February.

M: Well, I can understand that. Congratulations, by the way.

S: Oh, I don’t care about her. I hate babies.

M: (stunned silence)

M: (more stunned silence)

M: (completely incapable of generating any kind of response)

S: Uh…I mean, I bought her some books. Hopefully that means she’ll have a brain in her head. Unlike most people.

Irony much?